5 things I learned from Ben Sweet

After having spent so much time around this nutty fellow named Ben Sweet this summer and this fall, I have found that I learned a lot from him.

1. If you make a drink out of Everclear, vodka, PBR, 1.29 Grape Drank from Wal-mart, and lemon-lime off-brand soda, it will taste shockingly good, but will probably make you ill shortly thereafter.

2. Shell and BP have the best gas, most other brands are total shit. This is probably the most important advice i've learned, and one that I will carry with me throughout my life.

3. Primordial dwarves are not babies, or aliens, or alien babies.

4. Psychedelic drugs are bad. Acid is dangerous. Shrooms are not any safer, and I will never do any of these [again].

5. Djarum Blacks are awful and make my throat burn.


All of these things I did not know before this summer, and all of them I know because of Ben Sweet. So thanks, Ben.